This episode is for scholars looking to set clear boundaries and say no this semester.
Hello writers! How are you feeling right now?
Most of you are probably looking at your calendars and stressing out about how little time there is left, right?
Let me guess, you’re either beating yourself up for not getting more writing done over the break. And/or you’re starting to get worried about how you’re going to manage to fit writing in during the craziness of the upcoming semester.
I know, because right now most of my clients are requesting that we put together a semester writing plan!
The impending start of the academic year also leads me to share some personal news with you.
This is the first time in a decade that I won’t be starting the fall semester as a faculty member.
That’s right, I have made the decision to leave my tenured university position to become a full-time writing and career coach.
This was something I had in the works for the past four-plus years, and I finally was able to make my dream come true.
Of course, there’s a lot more that went into this decision, but what this means for you is that moving forward I will have much more time to devote to my clients and making sure they’re reaching their writing and life goals.
I’m really excited for this change and ready to help more women and non-binary scholars achieve your dreams in a way that feels good to you and is in alignment with your values.
And if you want my help, reach out to me!
So today’s episode is meant to help you figure out what to prioritize in your work.
I want you to keep your own mental, physical, and emotional health and well-being at the forefront, and this means SAYING NO to things that do not serve you.
When I talk about saying no to requests, I’m especially referring to service and committee work that can be extremely tiring and time-consuming, but not necessarily valued much by your institution or by academia in general.
What I’m going to talk about today pairs really well with the third episode of this podcast that was called “Create Bulletproof Boundaries with Your Job.”
Listening to these together will help you make a solid plan for the next few months that will allow you to keep your own writing and life goals front and center.
Prioritizing your own needs—which sometimes could mean disappointing others—is the best way to ensure that you don’t burn out by giving away too much.
I’ll be giving you two different strategies to help you assess whether or not you want to accept a new request.
I’ll also give some examples of wording you can use in emails to gracefully and tactfully turn down requests that won’t benefit you much.
This is so important because you want to protect your precious time and energy while still maintaining good professional relationships. And it’s a delicate balance.
Two Ways to Assess Whether You Want to Do Something
So let’s talk about how to assess whether you actually want to do something.
The first way is something you may have heard of before, which is to create what’s called a “No Committee.”
This is especially useful for early scholars and junior faculty members who don’t necessarily have clear guidelines on what you can or should decline doing.
It’s also great for those of you who tend to overcommit to things because everything seems like a good opportunity at the time.
So the concept of the No Committee was developed by Dr. Vilna Bashi Treitler, Professor and Chair of the Department of Black and Latino Studies at Baruch College.
It comes from this blogpost.
Let me start by reading a bit from the post so you can get a sense of why she created this concept.
Dr. Treitler writes,
“I had said ‘yes’ to too many things for too long. Sure, all these opportunities sounded great when I was asked to do them, and the deadlines were so far into the future.
After a while, deadlines jam up upon one another in ways that couldn’t be anticipated at the time “yes” is being said.
I wanted to build a successful career, but I only slowly realized that instead I was probably building the shortcut to a cardiac unit.
I had to figure out a new approach to choosing among the opportunities that trickled my way as I went from graduate student to assistant-, associate-, and then full-professor.
I realized that I just could not be trusted to figure out what I should or should not be doing because everything looked like a good opportunity for networking or getting a line on the CV.
Lines on the CV are what we all want and need, right? We also need some limits.”
Okay, so what exactly is a No Committee, and how do you use it?
For Dr. Treitler, a No Committee is a group of 3 people you trust to ask for advice regarding any request you’re unsure about taking.
So here are her rules for creating a successful No Committee:
- Your committee must have an odd number of people, ideally three, so you always have a clear answer and majority vote.
- Choose committee members who have three qualities. First, they must care deeply about your well-being. Second, they must understand the academy and the people around you. And third, they have to be able to keep things private.
- Choose people who answer their email.
So how do you use a No Committee?
For Dr. Treitler, when she receives a request, she emails her No Committee and describes the opportunity, gives any available info about what it entails, and lists out her reasons for saying yes or no.
And then she always takes their advice!
The second thing you can do to figure out whether you should say no to something is use what’s called the PEACE system, which was developed by Dr. Roxanne Donovan.
Dr. Donovan is a friend and colleague of mine.
She’s also a full professor and the founder of the company WellAcademic, which focuses on creating balance and well-being for women of color in the academy.
You should check out her website!
So how do you use the PEACE system?
Well, when you receive a work request, you can evaluate it by using the following process:
First, Pause. This means that you don’t say yes immediately. This is a reminder that you don’t need to react to other people’s urgency.
One mantra I often use is, “Other people’s urgency is not my urgency.” Try it out for yourself!
Second, Explore. Figure out, what’s the time and energy commitment?
And because we constantly underestimate how long things will take, make sure to multiply that number by 2.5 times!
Third, Assess. Figure out whether it fits with your goals and values.
Is this something that’s going to help you get to where you want to go? If not, then strongly reconsider taking it on.
Fourth, Consult—with your “No Committee.”
Remember that these are people who care about you, understand academia, and know your life and career priorities so they can weigh in on whether you are taking on too much.
And finally, Embrace—whatever answers come out.
Oftentimes, saying no means potentially disappointing someone.
But if this opportunity is not the right thing, it’s better to disappoint someone before anything gets going than to disappoint them much more later when you need more time or to back out.
How to Say No Tactfully
So now that you have some strategies to assess whether or not you want to do something, you need ways to tactfully turn down these requests.
My best advice is to keep a separate Word document with crafted statements specifically tailored to students, colleagues, and anyone else you regularly receive work requests from.
Then you can just cut and paste when the situation arises, saving yourself a lot of time and stress.
Here are some examples of quick ways to turn people down:
“This sounds like a really great opportunity, but I just can’t take on any additional commitments at this time.”
“I am in the middle of _________, ____________, and ___________ [fill in the blanks with your most status-enhancing and high-profile service commitments] and if I hope to get tenure, I’m unable to take on any additional service.”
Another one: “I’m not the best person for this, but some other people you could ask would be ______________.”
A third one: “If you can find a way to eliminate one of my existing service obligations, I will consider your request.”
Here’s an example of a shorter full-length email provided by Dr. Loleen Berdahl, who sends out a newsletter with really helpful tips called “Academia Made Easier.”
Here’s her “Thanks, but no” message:
“It is nice of you to think of me! I have a number of university service and research project commitments on my plate right now, on top of my work as Executive Director, that have my schedule very full. Because of this, I am not taking on any new commitments at this time. Thank you for the invitation. I do appreciate it.”
And finally, one of my colleagues wraps up her emails really nicely by writing the following:
“I regret to decline an opportunity as tempting as this. Please keep me in mind the next time an opportunity to contribute arises, and hopefully my plate will be a little less full.”
Wrapping Up
So I hope this episode has given you some strategies for figuring out what you can say no to and some ways to do so with grace.
A reminder that when you say no to something, you are also saying yes to yourself.
Another mantra I like to use is “I risk disappointing others in order to avoid disappointing myself.”
Because in the end, you’re the one who has to live with the consequences of your decisions.
So keep your own goals and well-being your main priorities as you move into the new academic year.
It’s easier said than done, but like anything in life, it’s a skill that can be honed over time.
I’ll talk to you again soon!
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to listen to: